Zartgefuehl aka Zartgefühl Men’s Secret nee Prinz aka Prince Charming Aftershave Balm | 100ml | Made in Germany

$10.00$37.16

Everybody wants some.   Handmade in Germany.

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SKU: zartmenssecretbalm Categories: ,

Description

11.10.2021 – AT LONG LAST, BACK IN-STOCK!  Consternate at your peril!   We’ll definitely be out again before spring, we’ll get one batch late April/early May before the dark period, and then we can’t get it again ’til ~Okt. ’22 presuming we’re alive and still trying to sell goods in boxes with intention toward producing profits.

A $10 sample = as much as I can jam into a 24x14mm circular plastic reservoir with a little wooden stick w/o touching it or spilling any over the top of the plane when it is sealed.   Many shaves worth; I’d guess ~7-10 sessions.

Along with their fine shaving soap, we’ve also got Zartgefühl‘s awfully awry ‘Men’s Secret’ (nee Prinz Charming) balm, too.

It will remain an unhappy and poorly fulfilled life to all that don’t try this odd stuff; you just don’t know that yet!  Don’t nobody like this one – it is impossible.   It is the least elastic SKU we have ever had the pleasure to handle.   Surely snobby shavingdom’s most unique balming agent, this goes on heavier than an audit, with a feel from the jar ranging from thick shortening to mayonnaise to runny ice cream sifted with fine sand.  But don’t worry of that physical consistency, however, as this cannot be denied by any; regardless of feel in the hand, taking a tiny pea’s worth of the goods via your baby wooden spatula (to keep its ever-pure ingredients just that) and vigorously rubbing into wet skin leaves one in absolute heaven in about half an hour.   Your skin is SOFT!

I could wax on for far too long about the tremendous inelasticity of this most special of SKUs, but suffice it to say that we have a impossibly cheap and looooong term customer retiree an hour south or so, a human of means that never submits anything but a minimum value + heavy + inexpensive order to toward their pocket maximize their bang-for-the-buck from the stupid no-such-thing-on-this-planet ‘Free Shipping’.     That dude’s bought this costly stuff, and if you knew what I knew, that’d boggle your mind.

So, what’s unique about Men’s Secret balm?

Well, sourcing naturally-occurring versions of commonly-synthesized cosmetics products, for one.  That adds well to cost of product.

In perhaps the most staunchly impractical display of idealism in all of wet shaving software, Men’s Secret balm has neither water, alcohol, preservatives, nor stabilizers.   Its consistency ain’t stable…at all.  The batches we receive vary even piece to piece within each shipment.  While other water-free aftershave options use beeswax for stability, this stuff – with its pure shea butter base – runs a full gamut of whipped butter to softer than a cannoli’s innards to a sandy/liquidy ‘tweener.   A solution, not a compound, it has no internal defense to separation.   Expose to heat and it liquifies, but get it too cold and it becomes dense and gritty.  It is like a mogwai.   The most glorious consistency is if its kept at ~60° F / ~16° C, where it is rather like the original version of Crisco... that’s about the lowest you can go without it starting to thicken up, and higher makes it thinner.

Function’s unaffected, though, as temperature variances don’t impart a chemical change (such as with spoiled milk for example).  I keep mine in a wine fridge, use less volume (but, one presumes, an equal weight than if at room temp), rub it on my clean palms until it feels like a flat thin grease slick instead of a sandy frosting, and bludgeon the still-moist skin with that…it feels absolutely terrific in just a bit, and dedicating it to the wine chiller saves on the AC costs at the house when we’re out for the day 🙂

Zartgefuehl could easily have forced a permanent light/whipped texture via the aid of supplemental stabilizers, but they’re stubborn, and wanted only the best, absolutely uncompromised ingredients.   One will adore idealistic people and companies more and more as the age, for it is a most admirable quality and a key to why one can become a closeted Francophile.   Bless the Earth’s brilliantly stubborn idealists with degrees in chemistry.

The calmness imparted to the face once Men’s Secret absorbs is, simply put, remarkable.  Everyone loves it! Two hours on you’ll never feel better, and while it’d be spiffy if all that were possible with a light feeling going on (think Pond’s cold cream next to your butter in the fridge), that is wishful thinking.  To love him is to love that thickness, and if you find something that makes your face feel softer, sell some to ‘ole TSS.

Apply to wet skin, working the buttery balm into the moisture left on your face.   Top off with a little toner if that’s your preference, but don’t use too much.   Use as little balm as possible, a cornea’s worth (about the size of small baby green pea) is entirely sufficient.   Expect almost a year of daily action from a 100ml tub.   Use with a little wooden stick or very clean hands’ fingernails scraping the top of what you’ve got left like a little squeegee.

Light but distinct sandalwood / citrus/ powder odor, as with fine French talcum powders.

Additional information

Size

100ml Jar, 24x14mm Sample Jar