Description
Does this site make you laugh? Has it caused you to learn about relationships or other useless things?
Well, if it has, we’re not square, tough guy – you owe me.
That debt’s separate from any buying you’re doing here – this is just between us.
If it does not make you laugh, well, you’re already a wanker, so you don’t need to do anything more but enjoy the rest of your wanker days ahead. I picture you checking your tracking on a $17 purchase, every hour, hoping its outcome will be altered by your persnickety attendance.
Anyway, assuming you’ve laughed here, it is time to tip, rat bastard, or be permanently referred mentally here as yet another common cheapskate…plenty of those out there, wanker, so go join your un-little club! Is that how you want your heirs to recall you, good at passing the most possible paper to use for your ungrateful inheritors?? If I could have two uncles pass, one that paid off my mortgage and never did anything cool with me, and the other left me nothing but the memories of my driving to my first concert (The Who) in the back of his trashed ’81 Camaro with two Hooters girls that scored me my first beers, gimme the cool dude every time.
From now on, every order that does NOT include this SKU, equals = see above. And I’ve put this dumb beggar’s SKU upon every single category and as a recommended accessory to all SKUs, too, so take that you-didn’t-see-it schtick and sell it somewhere else, f*cker.
Conveniently, we now offer multiple levels of tipping, including levels 4 and 5, where you can get either a Happy Birthday shoutout for the entity of your choice in a future video [seen by potentially hundreds], or the ultimate “Level 5”, where I’ll do an entire random bit based on you and your family that’s wholly intended to offend, because ‘safe’ jokes aren’t funny, and the last truly open-to-attack class of humans (besides those poor atheists) are the poor comedians!
One of my two children (actually I believe it the less artistically inclined, and supremely-annoyingly referred repeatedly with “She’s so pretty!” {what, r they saying the other one isn’t?}) drew this cup w/ Rick & Morty motif and wanted me to put it next to the cash register back when we had a retail bricks and mortar store. I did not do so, but do so now, digitally, and hope for enough money to retire.
Please note that within the constructs of a milquetoast fifty-year-old provider of four dependents, your donations are set aside and intentionally spent as foolishly as possible, overwhelmingly likely in purchase/consumption of mind-altering concepts such as alcohol or extremely high quality serial-story-type digital content, of which my recent “Jarrodism” ( ‘Jarrodism’ = coined phrase, such as “cookie hawk” {v., to badger someone for something wanted, or to invade one’s personal space}, occurring naturally and often adopted by a small circle of friends/relatives/associates to permeate Earth… in fact – true story – b/c “Jarrodisms” are common, a great college roomie actually assumed I coined the phrase ’24/7′ when he’d heard me say it circa 1993, and every time I hear in adverts or see upon signage I chuckle, sometimes I take pics of such adverts and text him them “hey, they owe me”) properly designates as “mind coke”, because you’re just buying thoughts/feelings (actual cocaine is significantly more expensive according to all the movies), and much like the real thing, you might choose to lie on its behalf. My kids love mind coke, the fresher the content the better! They don’t want any of that giant armada of subscription content you’re *already* paying for each month, they want new mind coke you can buy right now on the spot, and that’s really why Blu-Ray and friends are yesteryear’s news.
